Poor Unfortunate Souls is a song from 1989 Disney musical animated film “The Little Mermaid“. The song is sung by Ursula and performed by Pat Caroll. Reprise of the song is sung by Vanessa, Ursula’s alter ego, who is voiced by Jodi Benson (as she had stolen Ariel’s voice)
Poor Unfortunate Souls Lyrics
I admit that in the past I’ve been a nasty
They weren’t kidding when they called me, well, a witch
But you’ll find that nowadays
I’ve mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light, and made a switch (True? Yes.)
And I fortunately know a little magic
It’s a talent that I always have possessed
And dear lady, please don’t laugh,
I use it on behalf
of the miserable, lonely and depressed (pathetic)
Poor unfortunate souls
In pain, in need
This one longing to be thinner
That one wants to get the girl
And do I help them? Yes, indeed
Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad, so true
They come flocking to my cauldron
crying “Spells, Ursula, please!”
And I help them? Yes, I do
Now it’s happened once or twice
Someone couldn’t pay the price
And I’m afraid I had to rake ’em ‘cross the coals
Yes I’ve had the odd complaint
But on the whole I’ve been a saint
to those poor unfortunate souls
The men up there don’t like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore!
Yes, on land it’s much preferred
for ladies not to say a word
And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?
Come on, they’re not all that impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can!
But they dote and swoon and fawn
on a lady who’s withdrawn
It’s she who holds her tongue who gets a man!
Come on, you poor unfortunate soul
Go ahead! Make your choice!
I’m a very busy woman and I haven’t got all day
It won’t cost much. Just your voice!
You poor unfortunate soul
It’s sad but true
If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet, you’ve got the pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath, and go ahead and sign the scroll
Flotsam, Jetsam, now I’ve got her, boys
The boss is on a roll!
This poor unfortunate Soul!
Beluga sevruga, come winds of the Caspian Sea
Larynxes, glossitis, ad max Laryngitis, la voce to me!
Poor Unfortunate Souls Reprise
Vanessa: What a lovely little bride I’ll make,
My dear, I’ll look divine!
Things are working out according to my ultimate design!
Soon I’ll have that little mermaid,
and the ocean will be mine!