Gaston is a song from Disney musical film Beauty and the Beast. The song is sung by Gaston, LeFou and others and performed by Richard White, Jesse Corti and Beauty and the Beast Cast.
LeFou: Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here’d love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps
There’s no man in town as admired as you
You’re everyone’s favorite guy
Everyone’s awed and inspired by you
And it’s not very hard to see why!
No one’s slick as Gaston
No one’s quick as Gaston
No one’s neck’s as incredibly thick as Gaston
For there’s no man in town half as manly!
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they’ll tell you whose team they prefer to be on!
LeFou and Chorus: No one’s been like Gaston
A king pin like Gaston
LeFou: No one’s got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
Gaston: As a specimen, yes, I’m intimidating!
LeFou and Chorus: My what a guy, that Gaston!
Give five “hurrahs!” Give twelve “hip-hips!”
LeFou: Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips!
Chorus: No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston
In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston!
Bimbettes: For there’s no one as burly and brawny
Gaston: As you see, I’ve got biceps to spare
LeFou: Not a bit of him’s scraggly or scrawny.
Gaston: That’s right!
And every last inch of me’s covered with hair!
Chorus: No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston
LeFou: In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston
Gaston: I’m especially good at expectorating! Ptoooie!
Chorus: Ten points for Gaston!
Gaston: When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Ev’ry morning to help me get large
And now that I’m grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I’m roughly the size of a barge
Chorus: No one shoots like Gaston
Makes those beauts like Gaston
LeFou: Then goes tromping around
Wearing boots like Gaston!
Gaston: I use antlers in all of my decorating!
[Heard only in the soundtrack version]
Say it again!
Who’s a man among men?
And then say it once more
Who’s that hero next door?
Who’s a super success?
Don’t you know? Can’t you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
There’s just one guy in town
Who’s got all of it down…
LeFou: And his name’s G-A-S… T…
G-A-S-T-O… ohh, ow…
[Heard only in the film version]
Chorus: My what a guy!